Assalamu Alaikum!
So I have been super stressed out lately and although I am still trying to be positive, and blog positive but find myself venting more.
this is not so much as a vent as a question of my sanity and where has it gone
"Where O where has my sanity gone, O where or where can it be. I have forgotten things, and I'm really stressed out.. O where O where can it be"....
I am forgetting things-
I try to keep a schedule and with everything on my mind I get stressed out (which is normal when you have 5 kids, and trying to balance everything)
BUT
Several things have happened within the last few weeks causing me to question my stress level.
WARNING: THIS MAY GET TO BE TMI ADVANCE AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION
Yesterday, I had to do errands while having my woman's days so I opted for "cotton with a string".. instead of the flat diaper with wings.. after coming home putting away groceries, getting lunch together, cleaning.. I go to bathroom and with having NO RECOLLECTION of removing the cotton with string, later to check out what my flow was like (to know when to expect to be able to make ghusl/pray) *something I usually always monitor..
I find no cotton with string, no diaper with wings and I wasn't even having an leakage issues which is beyond strange because by day 3, I am still usually going pretty steady.. so then I start to panic- what if the strings got lodged up there along with the cotton bit.. what if I can't get it out.. I started crying because I do not remember going to the bathroom prior to this- (not counting prior to run errands because I know I out one in) If I take the cotton out I replace it with the pad I don't just let myself go "free" especially on day 3.... so I calm down realize there is no string, nothing there- replace it with a pad .
The biggest problem in this is I don't even remember going to the bathroom between the time prior to getting ready to run errands, and checking my flow..
(I know, I know, TMI) *your shaking your head thinking this woman is nuts talking about this..
The point is I have no iota of recollection of that particular memory/activity which put me in even more of a panic.. It's as if the cotton with string disappeared and due to not even putting something else in it's place made me question it even more- where did that time go.. and why can I NOT remember!?
This is not the first time it has happened but first time in regards to my "woman's days"..
I have also forgotten a lot of things the past few weeks as in not forgotten to do something but completely do not even have it as a recollection of something I did- like it never even happened and that time can not be accounted for!?
So the whole point of this was to ask whether or not anyone has experienced this.. (forgotten a period of time or an activity and not even recollect that it has happened)
I am not yet 30, and although stress is common I'm usually okay at dealing with it, anxiety is also another problem I have frequently but actually forgetting that I have done something (when I did it) but I don't even remember ..
So let me be very clear- I am NOT forgetting to do something.. it is that I do things and don't even remember doing them..
Examples would be : You have just done the dishes prior to bed with a ton on your mind, stressed out and thinking about the next days events.. you go to bed NOT remembering you have done the dishes and then go back into the kitchen to do the dishes (because let's face it waking up early having to dishes sucks) and your like .. wait.. the dishes are done.. I don't even remember doing them.. when did I do them.. !? Something like this.. you did it- but have no recollection at all of doing it..
so strange!!!
I think I may have made my point, I am just hoping I am not actually losing my sanity and this is something "normal" under stress...
