Headaches and henna

Assalamu Alaikum!

The last year or so I have had so many headaches usually at least once a week but more often than not 2 or 3 a week and sometimes they last for 2-3 days and no amount of pain relievers will work.. I have my eyes examined annually as I do wear both contact lenses and glasses (although as of now my glasses are broke) and I'm thinking it may have a lot to do with stress, and maybe diet as well..?? They get extremely bad and have even caused me to feel as if someone has punched me in the head repeatedly, and it also causes vomiting and when I get them and THAT bad they are not only intolerable but I feel I am suffering! SubhanAllah The worst is at beginning of day to drop 2 kids off at school (back at home with 3 younger ones) and all the noise. and lights make me feel worse and when I go to bed early with having taken some form of pain reliever and waking up with the headache still there or worse.. I need to make a Doctor appointment to find out what's wrong.. hopefully a solution to all these migraines!

As of now have a very mild headache Alhamdulilah and sitting here with henna on my eyebrows.. which IMO looks more natural than coloring them in with eyeliner... and lasts longer!!

Do any of you suffer from frequent migraines or use henna on your eyebrows?? post a comment!

Question of hijab. Supression or Liberation: An article feat video

"Why do Muslim women have to cover their heads?" This question is one which is asked by Muslim and non-Muslim alike. For many women it is the truest test of being a Muslim.

The answer to the question is very simple - Muslim women observe HIJAB (covering the head and the body) because Allah has told them to do so.

"O Prophet, tell your wives and daughters and the believing women to draw their outer garments around them (when they go out or are among men). That is better in order that they may be known (to be Muslims) and not annoyed..." [Noble Quran 33:59]

Other secondary reasons include the requirement for modesty in both men and women. Both will then be evaluated for intelligence and skills instead of looks and sexuality. An Iranian school girl is quoted as saying, "We want to stop men from treating us like sex objects, as they have always done. We want them to ignore our appearance and to be attentive to our personalities and mind. We want them to take us seriously and treat us as equals and not just chase us around for our bodies and physical looks." A Muslim woman who covers her head is making a statement about her identity. Anyone who sees her will know that she is a Muslim and has a good moral character. Many Muslim women who cover are filled with dignity and self esteem; they are pleased to be identified as a Muslim woman. As a chaste, modest, pure woman, she does not want her sexuality to enter into interactions with men in the smallest degree. A woman who covers herself is concealing her sexuality but allowing her femininity to be brought out.

The question of Hijab for Muslim women has been a controversy for centuries and will probably continue for many more. Some learned people do not consider the subject open to discussion and consider that covering the face is required, while a majority are of the opinion that it is not required. A middle line position is taken by some who claim that the instructions are vague and open to individual discretion depending on the situation. The wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) were required to cover their faces so that men would not think of them in sexual terms since they were the "Mothers of the Believers," but this requirement was not extended to other women.

The word "Hijab" comes from the Arabic word "hajaba" meaning to hide from view or conceal. In the present time, the context of Hijab is the modest covering of a Muslim woman. The question now is what is the extent of the covering? The Quran says:

"Say to the believing man that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that will make for greater purity for them; and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; and that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands..." [Noble Quran 24:30-31]

These verses from the Quran contain two main injunctions:

A woman should not show her beauty or adornments except what appears by uncontrolled factors such as the wind blowing her clothes, and

the head covers should be drawn so as to cover the hair, the neck and the bosom.

Islam has no fixed standard as to the style of dress or type of clothing that Muslims must wear. However, some requirements must be met. The first of these requirements is the parts of the body which must be covered. Islam has two sources for guidance and rulings: first, the Quran, the revealed word of Allah and secondly, the Hadith or the traditions of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) who was chosen by Allah to be the role model for mankind. The following is a Tradition of the Prophet:

"Ayshah reported that Asma' the daughter of Abu Bakr came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) while wearing thin clothing. He approached her and said: 'O Asma'! When a girl reaches the menstrual age, it is not properthat anything should remain exposed except this and this. He pointed to theface and hands." [Abu Dawud]

The second requirement is looseness. The clothing must be loose enough so as not to describe the shape of the woman's body. One desirable way to hide the shape of the body is to wear a cloak over other clothes. However, if the clothing is loose enough, an outer garment is not necessary. Thickness is the third requirement. The clothing must be thick enough so as not to show the color of the skin it covers or the shape of the body. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) stated that in later generations of his Ummah there would be

"women who would be dressed but naked and on top of their heads (what looks like) camel humps. Curse them for they are truly cursed." [Muslim]

Another requirement is an over-all dignified appearance. The clothing should not attract men's attention to the woman. It should not be shiny and flashy so that everyone notices the dress and the woman. In addition there are other requirements:

Women must not dress so as to appear as men.

"Ibn Abbas narrated: 'The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed the men who appear like women and the women who appear like men.'" [Bukhari]

Women should not dress in a way similar to the unbelievers.

The clothing should be modest, not excessively fancy and also not excessively ragged to gain others admiration or sympathy.

Often forgotten is the fact that modern Western dress is a new invention. Looking at the clothing of women as recently as seventy years ago, we see clothing similar to Hijab. These active and hard-working women of the West were not inhibited by their clothing which consisted of long, full dresses and various types of head covering. Muslim women who wear Hijab do not find it impractical or interfering with their activities in all levels and walks of life. Hijab is not merely a covering dress but more importantly, it is behavior, manners, speech and appearance in public. Dress is only one facet of the total being. The basic requirement of the Muslim woman's dress apply to the Muslim man's clothing with the difference being mainly in degree. Modesty requires that the area between the navel and the knee be covered in front of all people except the wife. The clothing of men should not be like the dress of women, nor should it be tight or provocative. A Muslim should dress to show his identity as a Muslim. Men are not allowed to wear gold or silk. However, both are allowed for women.

For both men and women, clothing requirements are not meant to be a restriction but rather a way in which society will function in a proper, Islamic manner.

III&E Brochure Series
(Published by The Institute of Islamic Information and Education (III&E) and reproduced in electronic form by Islamic Academy for Scientific Research with permission)

How To Make A Husband Happy

How to Make your Husband Happy

Sited From: http://www.themoder nreligion. com/women/ happyhubby. html

To help strengthening the Muslim families and spread the teachings of Islam in building families, the Muslim Students' Association at the University of Alberta prepared a extremely summarized translation for two books. The books are Arabic by Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed. An Egyptian scholar, who graduated from the Islamic University of AlMadinah Al-Munawwarah in Saudi Arabia. The two books are:
1- How to make your wife happy
2- How to make your husband happy

These books exceed the traditional presentation of stating rights and duties to the 'Adab (good manners) and extend into application of these rights in daily life. The following summary highlights mainly the responsibilities or examples of what could or should be done. Every single item mentioned by the author is supported by evidences from Qur'an, Sunnah or the actions of the companions, but evidences are omitted in this translation. The following is the translation of the SECOND book.

This translation is copyrighted to MSA at University of Alberta. Feel free to repost it or reprint it by all means, provided that you do not make any changes, additions, or omissions without permission.

1. Beautiful Reception. After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you, begin with a good greeting

Meet him with a cheerful face.
Beautify and perfume yourself
Start with good news and delay any bad news until he has rested
Receive him with loving and yearning sentences
Make hard efforts for excellence of the food & having it ready on time.

2. Beautify and Soften the Voice

For your husband only, it shouldn't be used in front of non-mahram men (men who can marry you if you were unmarried)

3. Smelling Good and Physical Beautification

Taking good care of your body and fitness
Put on nice and attractive clothes and perfumes
Bath regularly and, after the monthly period, remove any blood traces or bad smells
Avoid that your husband observes you in dirty clothes or rough shape
Avoid prohibited types of ornamentation, e.g. tatoo
Use the types of perfumes, colors, and clothes that the husband likes
Change hair style, perfumes, etc. from time to time
However with these things you should avoid excessiveness and, of course, only act as such in front of mahrem men and women.

4. Intercourse

Hasten for intercourse when your husband feels compulsion for it.
Keep your body clean and smelling good as possible including cleaning yourself of released fluids during intercourse.
Exchange loving phrases with your husband.
Leave your husband to fully satisfy his desire.
Choose suitable times and good occasions for exciting your husband, and encouraging him to do intercourse, e.g. after returning from a travel, weekends, etc.

5. Satisfaction With What Allah (SWT) Has Allotted

You shouldn't be depressed because your husband is poor or works in a simple job.
You should look at poor, sick, and handicapped people and remember Allah (SWT) for all that was given to you
You should remember that real wealth lays in Iman and piety.

6. Indifference to Worldly Things

You should not consider this world as your hope and interest
You should not ask your husband for many unnecessary things
Asceticism does not mean not to enjoy what is good and permissible (Halal), but it means that one should look forward to the hereafter and utilize whatever Allah SWT gave them to achieve paradise (Jannah).
Encourage your husband to reduce expenses and save some money in order to give charity and feed poor and needy people.

7. Appreciation

By the saying of the prophet, the majority of people in hell were women because they were ungrateful and deny the good done to them.
The result of being grateful is that your husband will love you more and will do his best to please you in more ways
The result of being ungrateful is that your husband will be dissappointed and will start asking himself: Why should I do good to her, if she never appreciates?

8. Devotion and Loyalty

In particular in times of calamities in your husband's body or business, e.g. an accident or a bankruptcy
Supporting him through your own work, money, and properties if needed.

9. Compliance to Him

In all what he commands you, unless it is prohibited (Haram).
In Islam, the husband is the leader of the family, and the wife is his support and consultant

10. Pleasing Him If He Is Angry

First off, try to avoid what will guarantee his anger.
But if it happens that you can't, then try to appease him as follows:
1- If you mistaken, then apologize
2- If he mistaken then:
# Keep still instead of arguing or
# Yield you were right or
# Wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully with him.
3- If he was angry because of external reasons then:
# Keeping silent untill his anger goes
# Find execuses for him, e.g. tired, problems at work, some one insulted him
# Do not ask many questions and insist on knowing what happened, e.g.
1) You should tell me what happened?
2) I must know what made you so angry.
3) You are hidding something, and I have the right to know
11. Guardianship While He is Absent

Protecting yourself from any prohibited relations
Keep the secrets of the family, particularly intercourse and things that the husbands don't like other people to know
Take care of the house and children
Take care of his money and properties
Do not go out of your house without his permission and put on full hijab
Refuse people whom he does not like to come over
Do not allow any non-mahram man to be alone with you in any place
Be good with his parents and relatives in his absence

12. Showing Respect for his Family and Friends

You should welcome his guests and try to please them, especially his parents
You should avoid problems as much as you can with his relatives
You should avoid putting him is a position where he had to choose between his mother and his wife
Show good hospitality for his guests by arranging a nice place for them to sit in, perfection of food, welcoming their wives, etc.
Encourage him to visit his relatives and invite them to your home.
Phone his parents and sisters, send letters to them, buy gifts for them, support them in calamities, etc.

13. Admirable Jealousy

Jealousy is a sign for wife's love for her husband but it should be kept within the limits of Islam, e.g. not insulating or backbiting others, disrespecting them, etc.
You should not follow or create unfounded doubts.

14. Patience and Emotional Support

Be patient when you face poverty and strained circumstances.
When you face calamities and disasters that may happen to you, your husband, your children, relatives or properties, e.g. diseases, accidents, death, etc.
When facing hardships in Da'wah (imprisonment, getting fired, arrested, etc.), be patient and encourage him to keep on the path of Allah and remind him of paradise.
When he mistreats you, counteract his ill-treatment by good treatment

15. Support in Obedience to Allah, Da'wah and Jihad

Cooperate with your husband and remind him of different obligatory and voluntary worships.* Encourage him to pray at night.
Listen and reciting the Qur'an individually and with your husband.
Listen to Islamic tapes and songs individually and with your husband.
Remember Allah SWT much, particularly after Fajr and before Maghrib.
Share in arranging Da'wah activities for women and children.
Learn Islamic rules (ahkam) and good manners ('adab) for women.
Support your husband's activities by encouraging him, offering wise opinions, soothing his pains, etc.
Yielding some of your rights and a part of your time with your husband for Da'wah.
Encourage him to go for Jihad when needed and remind him that you and children will be in the preservation of Allah SWT.

15. Good Housekeeping

Keep it clean, decorated and well arranged.
Change house arrangements from time to time to avoid boredom.
Perfect of food and prepare healthy foods.
Learn all the necessary skills for managing the house, e.g. sewing.
Learn how to raise children properly and in an Islamic way.

17. Preservation of Finances and the Family

Do not spend from his money, even for charity without his permission unless you are sure that he agrees on this.
Protect his house, car, etc. while he is absent.
Keep the children in good shape, clean clothes, etc. Take care of their nutrition, health, education, manners, etc. Teach them Islam and tell them the stories of the Prophets and companions.

Finally, please make Du'a for the writer; Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed, for the translator brother Abu Talhah and for reviewer Br. Adam Qurashi. Remember this is not a perfect translation so forgive us our faults and correct our errors.

Beauty 101:Tips For Muslimahs

Sited from :

http://sisters.islamway.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=175


For attractive lips

Speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes,

Seek out the good in people.




For a slim figure,

Share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair,

Let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise,

Walk with the knowledge that you will never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived,

reclaimed, and redeemed;

Never throw out anybody.

Remember, If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,

The figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes,

Because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,

But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.

It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows.

And the beauty of a woman, with passing years, only grows!

Fiqh: Hair Dyes and good news for those who would like to dye their hair black for their husbands!!

Fiqh of Hair Dyes

Q:Is it permissible to use hair dyes, and which ones?

In the Name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,

It is permissible, rather recommended (mandub) to dye the hair of the head (and beard for men) provided the ingredients used in the hair dye are Halal.

The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said:

“Change the old age (white/grey hair), and do not imitate the Jews” (Sunan Tirmidhi & Sunan Nasa’i).

He (Allah bless him & give him peace) also stated:

“The best dye to change your old age is Henna (a red plant dye) and Katm (type of grass)” (Narrated by many Hadith Imams).

There is a difference of opinion between the scholars on whether the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) himself dyed his hair. However Sayyiduna Abu Bakr and Sayyiduna Umar ibn al-Khattab (Allah be pleased with them) did dye the hair of their head and beard, thus it will be classed as recommended (mandub), if not Sunnah.

The great Hanafi Imam, Ala' al-Din al-Haskafi states in his Durr al-Mukhtar:

“It is recommended for men to dye their hair and beard, even outside war”. (Durr al-Mukhtar 5: 271)

It is stated in the famous Hanafi Fiqh Reference book al-Fatawa al-Hindiyyah:

“The scholars have all unanimously agreed that it is a Sunnah for men to dye the hair of their head and beard with red colour. It is also considered a sign for Muslims” (5/329).

Pure black dye

The foregoing explanation was regarding using dye other than the colour of pure black. The ruling on using pure black hair dye will defer according to the reason one uses it for.

a) If a warrior (mujahid) used black hair dye in order to create awe and fear into the heart and mind of the enemy, then all the scholars agree that it is permissible (al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, 5/329).

b) To use pure black dye in order to deceive somebody, e.g. a prospective fiancée or in order to get a job, then this (according to all) is impermissible.

The Companion Ibn Mas’ud (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah said:

“Whosoever deceives us is not from us” (Sahih Ibn Hibban)

c) The third situation is when pure black dye is used for adornment, meaning the husbands or the wives use it in order to please the spouse. The scholars have differed with regards to its ruling.

Many Hanafi scholars have said that to use pure black dye is not permissible, even for the purpose of adornment and pleasing the spouse.

The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said:

“There will be people who will come later (in my Ummah) and apply black dye. They will not even smell the fragrance of paradise” (Sunan Abu Dawud, 2/578).

In another Hadith, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “Abstain from using black dye” (Sahih Muslim).

However other scholars including the great Hanafi jurist and student of Imam Abu Hanifa, Imam Abu Yusuf (Allah have mercy on him) permitted the use of black dye for adornment, especially the wife, to adorn herself for her husband. It has also been narrated from some of the companions such as: Sayyiduna Uthman, Sayyiduna Hasan, Sayyiduna Husain & others (Allah be pleased with them all) that they used black colour dye.

Imam Abu Yusuf also permitted it for men in order to adorn themselves for their wives. His words are:

“As I desire my wife to adorn herself for me, she also desires that I adorn my self for her” (Radd al-Muhtar).

Imam al-Haskafi states in Durr al-Mukhtar:

“It is recommended for men to dye their hair and beard, even outside war according to the sounder opinion. The sounder opinion is that the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) did not do it. It is disliked with black, though some said it is not”

My respected teacher, Shaykh Mufti Taqi Usmani (Allah preserve him) says:

“The final word regarding the using of black dye is that, it will not be considered unlawful (haram), although disliked (makruh). The prohibition in the Hadith will be understood to be confined in the situation when one uses it to deceive others”. (Taqrir Tirmizi, 2/354).

It should also be remembered here that the above discussion is when the dye is pure black. However, if it is not pure, rather it is dark and black-inclined; it would be permissible to apply it.

Also, the dying of hair will not affect the validity of ablutions (wudu) or obligatory bath (ghusl), because the coating is not considered a perceptible barrier.

In conclusion, it is recommended to dye the hair (for men and women) with other then pure black colour. To use pure black dye in order to deceive others is unlawful (haram), and totally permissible for a Mujahid engaged in Jihad. As far as using it for adornment purposes, it will be somewhat disliked (makruh tanzihan), although some have declared to be reprehensible.

And Allah Knows Best

Muhammad ibn Adam
Darul Iftaa
Leicester, UK

Hob BiLaah SWT/ Love Of Allah SWT

Assalamu Alaikum All
I thought this was a nice poem. It didn't have a author's name, so I
don't know who wrote it. Inshallah ta'ala this reaches you in the
best way. and may Allah SWT reward you who spread knowledge of Islam,
love, and compassion for one another, and truly want for another as
you want for yourself

When I say, I am a Muslim,
I am not shouting "Down with the Christians and Jews."
I am whispering: I seek peace, and Islam is the path I choose.
When I say, I am a Muslim, I speak of this with pride.
And confess that sometimes I stumble, and need Allah to be my guide.

When I say, I am a Muslim, I know this makes me strong.
And in those times when I am weak, I pray to Allah for strength to
carry on.

When I say, I am a Muslim, I am not boasting of success.

I am acknowledging that Allah has rescued me and I can not ever repay
the dept. When I say, I am a Muslim, I am not claiming to be perfect.

My flaws are indeed visable, but Allah forgives, because His
followers are worth it.
When I say, I am a Muslim, it does not mean I'll never feel pain.
I still have my share of heartaches, which is why I invoke Allah's
name.
When I say, I am a Muslim, I do not wish to judge.
I have no such authority. My duty is to submit to Allah's all
encompassing love.

Fashion? I Dont Really Care..

So i see my post got your eye, huh? Well let me explain. Other than being in the home i have no reason, nor desire to attract attention. My husband buys me the best of everything when he can, and takes me shopping at such stores like Macy's, Saks, and the like.. but i refuse to let him spend his hard earned money on material things like clothes when i can find almost the exact same thing at an outlet store, target, or wherever else they have sales.. besides i have 2 kids.. Every now and then i will let him buy me something expensive (at least to me) and he gets so excited, that i will actually let him spoil me.. and he tells me he cant wait to see it on me at home..

I'd rather the money be spent on things for the house like candles,incense, cleaners ( Yes i love cleaning and making the house smell good),new things for my daughters room (comforters, sheets etc.)

I get happiness from life's simple pleasures. But i can say that if there was/were particular thing/things that i loved.. it would be good perfume (that i only wear in the house for my hubby.. *not with company and not outside) makeup, and lingerie. (yeah didnt you know your supposed to "dress up" for your hubby) besides if you don't maybe he will seek to look outside ( i dont mean cheating silly i mean LOOKING)
used to have problems in that area.. but since dressing nice for hubby EVERY night, putting on perfume, and makeup i havtn noticed him "LOOKING"..

Yeah there are times i see certain things that are in fashion such as this seasons maxi dress and i think wow, how cute i want that.. BUT they HAVE ALWAYS been out every spring/summer.. and i ALWAYS buy them because you can buy them 1 size bigger for a looses flowy fit, and put a loose cardigan over top and voila perfect outfit for those hot days.. and actually that is what i wore last March for my wedding.. a nice maxi dress, dressy cardigan, and sandals.. and i didnt hear people raving about it then. so fashions come and go.. and sometimes i become interested.. but i dont try and take something like skinny jeans and "hijabify them" but i guess that may beacuse i am a thicky thick girl.. and i want to cover up my curves.. not show them off.. hard to do when you got a bum, and legs like me (frowns a little)

Oh Well Alhamdulilah.. My hubby loves me just then way i am.. and really thats the only thing that matters!!!