For starters i have been busy with the kids, and house and too lazy to post.. and moved to a new apartment. I finally have a washer, dryer, and even dishwahser. Alhamdulilah. Not living with my husband because of many problems and court things. Too much to disclose but basically i called him out, and protected myself, and then made sure he wouldnt be back to hurt me emotionally or physically again. Not sure what is to come of our situation but am pretty sure it is ending in divorce and i have tried everything to keep the marriage together but he just wont change.
I am due in 10 more weeks Inshallah. Growing more anxious, scared, and stressed because i have no idea who will take the kids while i am in the hospital, and i will be alone. Wishing now i would have gotten a midwife from the start, as Dr.s will insist and intrude. Which i dislike. 3 Dr.s and 3 nurses, with like 4 interns wants to be in the room while i was in labor with my son. I was so mad.. i told them all to get out. It was a bad experience.Subhanallah. I know with midwives it is different, ans long as she is in the room with you Dr.s usually dont come until she tells them your ready. My sister had a midwife and insisted i get one too. But i have no idea til now why i didnt. I wonder if it is too late.. and if my insurance will cover it. anyways whoever actually likes reading my blog, am sorry i havn't posted in so long. It was too much drama i was dealing with and i didnt want to write my life story down, or what was going on at the time. Better to keep some of my life private. I did however seek advice from some sisters, who were very helpful as i was a huge emotional mess and i couldnt think straight. Subhanallah.
