Someone to talk to

Assalamu Alaikum- 

just going to free write because that's what I am feeling right now

There must be someone that I can talk to

but my mind sometimes just draws a blank

and all the times I held it in '

carrying my feelings to my body's bank

I tried to start, to make conversation

but rejection led me astray

as much as I try to keep it in

these sinking feelings never go away

I feel like I never win

You would think my thoughts would grow wild with aggravation

or my tongue spilling out it's lingering  temptation

the words held inside so tight

and this heart so full of isolation

I will conquer this plight

moving on

and let my prayers take flight

I am wrong, so wrong, too wrong

but I will make it right

I am strong, so strong, too strong

I need to fight

Ya Rabb,  Ya Rabbi

I know  You hear me

take this pain from me

Ya Rabb,, Ya Rabbi

I don't know why I'm always looking

I've tried so hard to find a friend

but I'm lost, so lost 

I know it's not the end

let me be content in You

Ya Rabb, Ya Rabbi

all these confused feelings

Ya Rabb Ya Rabbi

calm me, grant me peace

clear my heart from travesty

clear my mind of everything

fill me with Your love

Ya Rabb, Ya Rabbi

La Illaha ill Allah

SubhanAllah SubhanAllah

I don't even care if this makes sense- I just really needed to write down how I was feeling.

©  2015- Fragile Flower Fatima/Gabby Hijabi/

©  2015  Zamina Papyrus           *pen name

Don't rush

Assalamu Alaikum.


I can not believe it has been over a month since I have posted- no wait yes, I can believe that because I barely have time for myself. Lol

I have lost about 20 pounds and after 60 days total of juicing took a short break from juicing and despite feeling a bit guilty- just going to say has been a roller coaster ride as I am not able to fully give up sweets but thus far have not been struggling with my weight. Just more or less maintaining it. I'm not in rush to drop wight only to gain it back- I am trying ti alter my eating habits and come up with a consistent way of eating cleaner while also becoming healthier. Sugar is my weakness.

I am lacking sleep most days and could really benefit from juicing at least as a par of eating healthier but money is tight as we are micromanaging every little thing so we can move into a house of our own inshAllah.

The 5 kids have been keeping me on my toes but feel all the more blessed because of their mobility Alhamdulilah!! They were sick in waves (we all were) and it was a horrible sight to see my babies sick- 

As much as I am thinking to write, I am distracted by the thought of vacuuming at 9 pm because you know the first 3 times wasn't good enough and dishes left from dinner and other things that really need tending to.

Time flies

Assalamu Alaikum


I have no concept of time- weeks feels like days sometimes SubhanAllah!!

I have been juicing 26 days (13 days exclusively) and bits of food here and there (salads, steel cut oats with flax, almond milk, and stevia) fiber is a MUST with juicing and I usually just add 1-2 tbsp of cold milled golden flax (ground) and stir it into what fresh juice that I just made. 

Although any and all fresh juice is beneficial - I LOVE green juice as I find I have a lot more energy after drinking it (almost instantaneous) BUT once you go completely green, and you have been juicing for a week or so you will notice that not only does it seem the weight your losing seems to be mostly fecal matter but a lot of problems arise if your not getting enough fiber to help clean everything out you will wind up  feeling like your urinating form both ends- I know TMI but that NEEDED to be said



Things are going well. I feel a lot healthier, have a lot less health problems and down 12 pounds. I'm being lazy about the exercise part but hoping inshAllah to start a regimen soon!

Toxic

Assalamu Alaikum.


It's been a little while. I have not been feeling well overall- and also been begging my husband to buy me a juicer for the last month..

Yesterday he finally went out and bought me one- a Breville "juice fountain compact"

Let me tell you- there is NOTHING "compact" about this juicer- unless your considering a bit extra counter space as there is no extra back attachments to take off- there is 3 pieces in the middle which you take out when done juicing (the small pitcher that comes with machine holds about 2- 8 ounce cups of juice) super easy to clean- dishwasher safe, AND makes 1 8 ounce cup in about 5 seconds

although this machine is a bit loud- its super fast and efficient and I love it!!

I wasn't going to change this into a weight loss post- because I TRULY need to get healthy and if losing weight is a result awesome!

I have been struggling with frequent headaches, bowel issues, digestion issues, skin issues just to name a few at 29 I feel more like 40 and always tired. I started juicing first thing on 11/23/2014 and although yesterday was great - today (day 2) was a bit bumpy.. with all the toxins leaving my body and headache and not feeling well- then I started menstruating and realized it was a mix of hormones and adjusting to juicing and getting rid of toxins- at about 9 pm I felt way better and sipping my juice. 

I am hoping by tomorrow I will start to have more energy as today I was feeling super tired (could of been menstruation) not too much more to update as things are going well Alhamdulilah!!! I will try inshAllah to post more often and possibly more updates on how juicing is going..

up and down

Assalamu Alaikum.

I'm in a horrible weepy mood tonight. It's nearly 12 am and I have to go to a doctors appointment tomorrow and just sitting here crying because it's torturous for me to be alone at night. For nearly 5 years now I have never gotten used to it- I really hate the idea my husband is working, and I'm at home supposed to be in bed. I would understand more IF he didn't have a choice about what hours he works but he does have a choice.

ups and downs of life- 

Cleaning up and out

Assalamu Alaikum.

I spent 6 hours yesterday organizing and cleaning on Sunday and although I was quite exhausted it felt amazing when I was done- to look at everything and feel satisfied with having completed it.

My hubby spent the 6 hours cooking for the kids and I, and appeasing them with cartoons and playing with them. It was truly amazing Alhamdulilah! He has been helping a lot lately, and we are actually working together as a team!

My 3rd child (DD* Darling Daughter) is turning 4 today (as it is 1 am ) I can not believe how the time has passed SubhanAllah!

Just got done watching "Super juice me" and I really want to change my lifestyle. Last year I was eating mostly vegan and lost 60 pounds and have kept it off Alhamdulilah (28 pounds of which was birth weight from twins )

Alhamdulilah things are going better! and Bismillah InshAllah they continue to get better


Assalamu Alaikum!

Abadoned

Assalamu Alaikum!

So sad to see a lot of blogs I used to follow are abandoned- no blog posts for years! Do many people still blog..or is everyone now writing everything on facebook ..?? I find blogging much more beneficial..

Another thing.. it REALLY bothers me to see people writing EVERYTHING on facebook~ Do people not get it gets to be annoying reading about everything you do in a day!? Leave some mystery.. sure I vent on blogger but I don't write about how often I cook, what I am cooking, when I go to bathroom, Doctors appointments for myself and children, etc etc etc.. It's really pitiful that people are so open these days.. Okay so I am your facebook "friend" but I don't know you IRL (In Real Life) you may be a friend of a friend.. So silly! I don't do that on any social media site.. maybe bits and pieces.. but come on!!

opinions..?? 

Headaches and henna

Assalamu Alaikum!

The last year or so I have had so many headaches usually at least once a week but more often than not 2 or 3 a week and sometimes they last for 2-3 days and no amount of pain relievers will work.. I have my eyes examined annually as I do wear both contact lenses and glasses (although as of now my glasses are broke) and I'm thinking it may have a lot to do with stress, and maybe diet as well..?? They get extremely bad and have even caused me to feel as if someone has punched me in the head repeatedly, and it also causes vomiting and when I get them and THAT bad they are not only intolerable but I feel I am suffering! SubhanAllah The worst is at beginning of day to drop 2 kids off at school (back at home with 3 younger ones) and all the noise. and lights make me feel worse and when I go to bed early with having taken some form of pain reliever and waking up with the headache still there or worse.. I need to make a Doctor appointment to find out what's wrong.. hopefully a solution to all these migraines!

As of now have a very mild headache Alhamdulilah and sitting here with henna on my eyebrows.. which IMO looks more natural than coloring them in with eyeliner... and lasts longer!!

Do any of you suffer from frequent migraines or use henna on your eyebrows?? post a comment!